photo credit: woodleywonderworks

Bullying in school, especially pre-school is something we must watch out for. We would all like to believe that when our toddlers go off to pre-school, visit daycare or have play dates that they are safe. In this day and age, we cannot afford to be so naïve. It is possible that your toddler can be physically and or emotionally harmed. Ask yourself if you would know the signs that would indicate your child is being bullied.

A recent survey reported that an astonishing 63% of children ages four through ten say they are or have been bullied by other children of the same or similar age. The same survey found that only 18% of these children’s parents or carers knew or suspected that their child was being bullied.

Bullying is defined as one person using his or her age, size, and aggressive nature to hurt and control other vulnerable children.

Bullies are people who have a very poor self-esteem and dominate others in a futile attempt to increase their sense of self-worth. Bullies can be any age, gender, or ethnic class. Young bullies, if their behavior is unchecked, become older bullies.

In children, the psychiatric diagnosis of Conduct Disorder is just the beginning of the development of cruel, dominating behavior, refusal to follow social and family rules, substance abuse beginning at a young age, gang affiliation, school suspensions and learning disorders, and a lack of remorse for their actions. As these children reach age 18, they are diagnosed with the Antisocial Personality Disorder; in most cases, this diagnosis results in criminal behavior.

An estimated 89% of prison inmates in this country are ASPD. This personality disorders are not “curable;” it’s indicative of deeply-ingrained personality characteristics.

The following is a checklist of symptoms that your toddler may exhibit if he or she is a victim of bullying in school:

- Depression; apathy, irritability, agitation, insomnia, low frustration tolerance, inability to concentrate, bed-wetting and lack of appetite.

- Fearfulness; reluctant to attend pre-school or play dates, crying, feigning illness.

- Questions about “What would happen if…”, and “If I don’t like Tommy, do I have to play with him?”

- Physical signs that seem suspicious; unexplained cuts, scrapes and bruises. When asked, the child makes up a story that isn’t consistent with the injury.

- Missing personal items; the child comes home without his or her lunch box, loss of small change, missing clothing, games, and favourite toys.

- Regressed behavior; acting younger than his or her age, speaking “baby talk,” clinging to parents, urinating or defecating in clothes, and wanting to eat baby food.

If your toddler exhibits any or all of these systems, the first thing you should do is ask the child if he or she is being bullied.

Make sure the child understands that he or she is not in trouble, and that it’s okay to tell this secret no matter if the bully has threatened further harm if the bullying is revealed. Reassure your child that everybody, including the bully will be safe.

Naturally, if your child is suffering bullying in school or at play dates, you’ll want to know where were the supposedly supervising parents or teachers? Once your child has divulged the secret, you have every right to ask the adults why they failed to supervise what was happening at their home or at pre-school.

Don’t send your child back to a home where adult supervision is so lacking that he or she is being hurt. If your child is being harmed in a pre-school, speak to the owner or top-level manager about the lack of supervision by the teachers. If you get no satisfactory answers, remove your child from the school and report the harm done to your child to your Child Protection Agency or Social Services.

Ages ago, the thought on bullying in school was “Fight it out and get over it”. Not so anymore. There are too many dangers that can’t be solved by the child standing up on his own against the stereotypical schoolyard bully.

You have to stand up for your child and show him that you will support him no matter what. Children need to know they can come to you with anything, no matter how horrible it might seem in their mind. You are their hero; you are the one who is ultimately going to save the day and keep them safe. Don’t let them down.

Technorati Tags: Antisocial personality disorder, Bullying, Child, Conduct Disorder, Health, mental health, Personality disorder, Substance Abuse

photo credit: doug88888

by Ed Philips

The decision to confront an alcoholic is never an easy one to make. The most important thing is you should never attempt it when the alcoholic is currently under the influence of alcohol. The confrontation should be planned when he or she is sober. Confronting an alcoholic is sometimes called an intervention and must be carefully planned according to recommended expert guidelines, preferably those issued by a knowledgeable organization like Al-Anon which is the support group for family members of alcoholics. Also, prior to confronting an alcoholic, you should check with the person’s doctor or a specialist in treating alcoholic disorders to determine how to prepare yourself and any others who might be helping you to confront a drinker about whom you are concerned. We have listed nine tips that may be helpful in preparing for an intervention.

Instead of formulating a confrontation plan on your own, see what the experts advise by talking to the Al-Anon association in your area. People there can advise you how to plan the intervention, and provide useful resources and information, too. If Al-Anon is unavailable in your area, make an appointment with a licensed therapist, counselor, or psychologist to discuss the nature of the problem and how it might best be approached. Although confronting an alcoholic can be similar in many respects for many families, it is a good idea to clarify unique circumstances or personal characteristics that could make a difference on the outcome.

You might find yourself wanting to berate and condemn a loved one should they come home intoxicated yet again. This fails to be productive as the drunk will ignore the criticism while under the alcohol influence and most likely forget about it the following when day when sober. It is crucial to talk to the person when sober and with a bit of luck, open to the idea of hearing your concerns. If a spontaneous opening should not happen, try to schedule a talk after dinner or when the two of you have some privacy and cannot be interrupted.

Your supporters can be other relatives, close friends, or even members of Al-Anon with whom you have become acquainted, since they may have been in similar circumstances as you at some point. They may even decide to join you in confronting the alcoholic in your family. But that will depend on you and the circumstances surrounding the person who drinks too much, as well as professional opinions about the situation.

When confronting an alcoholic, you can’t afford to be wishy-washy or indirect. Using a factual tone of voice, simply lay out the problematic situation, using examples of the drunkard’s problem behavior and ensuing results. You may need to list dates, frequency of bad behavior, amounts of alcohol consumed or sums of money spent on drinking, and other data to support your claims. It takes courage to confront an alcoholic, so don’t back down. If the alcoholic argues with you, remain calm and point to the facts.

People often enable an alcoholic, allowing him or her to stay in that way by letting them sidestep responsibility and manipulate others to ignore his misdeeds or cover for him at work or in public. If you are one of the enablers the alcoholic may assume he can have his way again to get out of the intervention without making any changes. A huge part of an intervention’s potential for success is the family member who arranges it being able to change, too. A person who wants to help must not continue to enable the alcoholic to abuse alcohol. Stand your ground and most importantly, don’t let the alcoholic bully or wheedle you into giving up.

Coupled with confronting an alcoholic with the consequences of his behavior is the need for a plan of recovery. If you are working with Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon, they can help you with making arrangements for a problem drinker to enter a rehabilitation program, either onsite at a facility for this purpose, or as an outpatient in a local clinic or support group. In some cases, a halfway house might be an appropriate alternative. Find out ahead of time if a particular detoxification program will accept the problem drinker you are working with, and make preliminary arrangements for the person to be admitted immediately following the intervention. Make it clear that you cannot guarantee the drinker will enroll, much less stay with the program, unless he accepts the program as part of his new life of abstaining from drink.

Should the alcoholic agree to go enter rehab, family members should try to offer support and encouragement throughout the detoxification phase and rehabilitation program. This should involve patient and family education as well and can last anywhere between several days to several months. Many programs last 28 days or less, due to people’s job and family responsibilities, and some of the rehabilitators can carry on as a non-resident while continuing career and household duties. No matter how the program is designed, love, acceptance, and willingness to support changes in lifestyle speak volumes toward helping the alcoholic become successful in rehabilitation.

As mentioned briefly above, family members living with an alcoholic must be willing to take responsibility for their behavior and make necessary changes, too. Adjustments might include refusing to cover for an alcoholic’s inability to go to work by reporting him absent, paying bills that the drinker should pay when he has spent his paycheck for alcoholic beverages, and letting the drunkard abuse or terrorize the family by acts of recklessness or violence. Sobriety can actually make life harder for the drinker and his family as everyone adjusts to new rules and learns how to follow through consistently. Some ex-drinkers can be ill- tempered, demanding, and peevish, while others may act guilty, embarrassed, or repentant.

Results may not appear automatically after confronting an alcoholic. The drinker may fluctuate between being in favor to rehab and resisting it, or he may enter rehab but leave early or relapse after finishing the program. Unfortunately, there is no guaranteed. After confronting an alcoholic, all you can do is maintain your points and wait for the drinker’s reaction. That alone will decide the conclusion of your intervention. If the drinker chooses not to pursue treatment or it proves ineffective, the family should continue to receive counseling and support as they make decisions about the future.

Living with an alcoholic is one of the hardest things to do. Their uncontrolled drinking causes problems that can affect family members and other people. It can be difficult for relatives to dissociate themselves from the drinker and establish effective boundaries between his behavior and theirs to avoid unhealthy enmeshment. But with education, professional support, and courageous conviction, family members can learn to practice tough love when confronting an alcoholic to give that person a fair shot at recovery. An intervention may be the first step toward acknowledging a problem and doing something about it that can make a positive difference in the lives of a problem drinker and his loved ones.

Learn how to Stop Drinking Alcohol In 21 Days – Assured by expert Ed Philips and find further help here to help you Stop Drinking Alcohol.

Technorati Tags: addiction, Alcoholic beverage, Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholism, Drunkenness, Health, Substance Abuse, Support group

photo credit: Shmoomeema

by Jason King

Eating less is the first method most overweight people use to lose weight. This usually starts with skipping meals rather than eating smaller meals. This is the quickest way to put your body in a state where it will actually make you heavier.

Although, at first you’ll lose some weight when you start skipping meals the weight loss will be very short lived. What you lose at first is water weight and muscle mass. As you lose your muscle mass your metabolism starts to slow down even though you will still be losing some weight .

Breakfast is the first meal that most dieters give up first. They think that skipping breakfast after waking up hungry will cause their body to start burning fat. Your metabolic rate slows down when you skip your breakfast. Your body will then go into starvation mode to protect itself. Your body will start using your muscles as fuel, and start storing fat instead of burning it off.

The human body is very intelligent. It will eat away at your muscles because it knows these are burning off more calories than fat does. This is so your body won’t burn too many calories while you’re starving your body throughout the day. Fat storage is something else your body does while you’re not eating as many meals as you should be. Your body stores fat so it has something to feed on when your muscle have become to small, and are not burning up much energy.

When you eventually eat in the evening your body will sore all the calories from your meal as fat. Your body will learn that it’s not going to get any more food until the following evening so it will store as much as it can. It will also slow down the rate in which the meal is digested so you’ll be digesting while you sleep.

5 to 6 meals a day is what you should be looking at eating as part of a successful weight loss program. To speed up your metabolism you need to increase your muscle mass as muscle burn more calories than fat. Cardio is also needed as it can burn an extra 2000 to 4000 calories a week depending on your weight and the intensity in which you train.

Losing weight and keeping it off is not an over night process, and anything that loses you weight overnight will be very short lived. You need to do it safely, and not starve your body of the calories it needs to function properly.

To learn more solid information on how to burn fat visit Getting A Six Pack

Technorati Tags: Health, Mass, Metabolism, Muscle, Shopping, Starvation, Starvation mode, weight loss