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Bullying in school, especially pre-school is something we must watch out for. We would all like to believe that when our toddlers go off to pre-school, visit daycare or have play dates that they are safe. In this day and age, we cannot afford to be so naïve. It is possible that your toddler can be physically and or emotionally harmed. Ask yourself if you would know the signs that would indicate your child is being bullied.
A recent survey reported that an astonishing 63% of children ages four through ten say they are or have been bullied by other children of the same or similar age. The same survey found that only 18% of these children’s parents or carers knew or suspected that their child was being bullied.
Bullying is defined as one person using his or her age, size, and aggressive nature to hurt and control other vulnerable children.
Bullies are people who have a very poor self-esteem and dominate others in a futile attempt to increase their sense of self-worth. Bullies can be any age, gender, or ethnic class. Young bullies, if their behavior is unchecked, become older bullies.
In children, the psychiatric diagnosis of Conduct Disorder is just the beginning of the development of cruel, dominating behavior, refusal to follow social and family rules, substance abuse beginning at a young age, gang affiliation, school suspensions and learning disorders, and a lack of remorse for their actions. As these children reach age 18, they are diagnosed with the Antisocial Personality Disorder; in most cases, this diagnosis results in criminal behavior.
An estimated 89% of prison inmates in this country are ASPD. This personality disorders are not “curable;” it’s indicative of deeply-ingrained personality characteristics.
The following is a checklist of symptoms that your toddler may exhibit if he or she is a victim of bullying in school:
- Depression; apathy, irritability, agitation, insomnia, low frustration tolerance, inability to concentrate, bed-wetting and lack of appetite.
- Fearfulness; reluctant to attend pre-school or play dates, crying, feigning illness.
- Questions about “What would happen if…”, and “If I don’t like Tommy, do I have to play with him?”
- Physical signs that seem suspicious; unexplained cuts, scrapes and bruises. When asked, the child makes up a story that isn’t consistent with the injury.
- Missing personal items; the child comes home without his or her lunch box, loss of small change, missing clothing, games, and favourite toys.
- Regressed behavior; acting younger than his or her age, speaking “baby talk,” clinging to parents, urinating or defecating in clothes, and wanting to eat baby food.
If your toddler exhibits any or all of these systems, the first thing you should do is ask the child if he or she is being bullied.
Make sure the child understands that he or she is not in trouble, and that it’s okay to tell this secret no matter if the bully has threatened further harm if the bullying is revealed. Reassure your child that everybody, including the bully will be safe.
Naturally, if your child is suffering bullying in school or at play dates, you’ll want to know where were the supposedly supervising parents or teachers? Once your child has divulged the secret, you have every right to ask the adults why they failed to supervise what was happening at their home or at pre-school.
Don’t send your child back to a home where adult supervision is so lacking that he or she is being hurt. If your child is being harmed in a pre-school, speak to the owner or top-level manager about the lack of supervision by the teachers. If you get no satisfactory answers, remove your child from the school and report the harm done to your child to your Child Protection Agency or Social Services.
Ages ago, the thought on bullying in school was “Fight it out and get over it”. Not so anymore. There are too many dangers that can’t be solved by the child standing up on his own against the stereotypical schoolyard bully.
You have to stand up for your child and show him that you will support him no matter what. Children need to know they can come to you with anything, no matter how horrible it might seem in their mind. You are their hero; you are the one who is ultimately going to save the day and keep them safe. Don’t let them down.
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