Unfortunately domestic violence is a problem that is growing across all communities cultures and races, with the majority of people physically injured being women and children. It should also be realised that according to surveys recently completed in up to 35% of these incidents, the physical violence is actually initiated by the woman.
Domestic abuse is often psychological, (verbal, emotional, or mental), which quickly escalates into physical violence following some sort of abuse or damage to personal property belonging to the partner. Psychological abuse is domestic violence but most people won’t recognize it as such. People still seem to think domestic violence is either physical or sexual. In fact it also includes abuse against properly or pets.
Domestic violence is a particularly difficult issue for men, as in many cases the Social Security or police investigators are trained to discriminate in favour of women because the majority of physical violence and injuries are perpetrated on women and children.
It is especially difficult when the woman is of petite stature and has a fiery temperament. In such cases the state funded agencies have a tendency to look at the physical characteristics of the woman and believe that it is unlikely the male partner can be the real victim.
Domestic violence is always stressful, and research has shown that children suffer equal amounts of stress when they witness physical violence against one of their parents.
For information on the signs demonstrated by people who may be prone to domestic violence, please see this previous blog post, ‘Signs of Domestic Violence‘.
When the problem is mentioned to friends or relatives it is common for them to quickly pass judgement and say they would never stay in such a relationship. But for the victims there is often a great fear of what will happen next if they report this to the authorities. Even in mentioning it to friends and family there is the fear that the abusing partner will find out and there will be ‘ hell to pay’.
An outsider cannot really imagine what the victims have to endure, so that is why it is so important to seek outside professional help and advice as soon as possible, even before a decision to formally report the incident or instances has been taken.
Really what you do after domestic violence is different for every victim. Some people get great comfort and benefit from the long term counselling in self-esteem and trust. Everyone benefits from some type of short-term counselling especially in dealing with an ended relationship, and moving on from that.
If you are or have been a victim of domestic violence, do get some form of help even if you don’t want to formally report it. Don’t be ashamed of being a victim of domestic violence. It’s not your fault. The best thing you can do for yourself, or your children, is to take that first step and make contact with a professional body for support and advice.
Tags: signs of domestic violence, physical violence, psychological abuse, domestic abuse, stress, domestic violence
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